..:: taRget..suMmer seM~!! ::..

salam..

et da lama sangat xp0st

bkan xmo p0st, tp et lpe passw0rd n username..huHu~

xreti nk masuk..almaklumla..baRu laGi

=p

k la..t0day is the 1st day of suMmer seM!

i’ve 2 stuDy on 0nLy 2 subjects f0r this sem, psycol0gy and islamic faMiLy law

hehe..actualLy its n0thing 2 do with my maJor, which is bi0techn0logy..hehe

l0oks like i’m g0ing to further my studies in ‘c0unsellling’ riGht?

yeah it is, it’s a subject f0r counselling

i dunn0 whether i want to buy psyco bo0k or n0t, as i just take this subject f0r this semester (which is only for 2 months), but c0nsidering that my m0m is a c0unselor herself, i miGht buy that bo0k for her later use..

this sem, i 0nly have 5 classes per week, 3 f0r psyco, 2 for agama

1 class per day, except m0nday, which is 2 classes..

classes will end n0t later than 12pm

n n0 class on friday~!!..s0o0o0o damn happy

i’m g0ing to get 4 flat this sem, c0z i realLy have 2 use this sem f0r my CGPA sake

n as i have a l0t of free time this sem (no m0re presentati0n,rep0rt n research paper~!!)..

i’m g0ing to participate in any activities actively

t0night is siLat class, n i’m g0ing to suggest f0r class on wednesday/tuesday night

if the class is still on friday, m0st pr0bably i cann0t c0me f0r practice

c0z i want to g0 back h0me/ semashur/ camping/ hang out with friends

i want to go back semasHur n meeting my juni0rs and teachers

i realLy want t0 make full use of my free time this sem

i want 2 change ‘usrah sek0lah’ to usraH that is m0re meaninGful this time

i want to go to serendah high sch0ol and start usrah n tarbiyah there

c0z i do kn0w, h0w critical s0cial pr0blems am0ng its students..i am realLy w0rried ab0ut them

n i want to heLp them

i’m eager to meet my semashur frens again..

i want to see their changes, n i want them to help me, or me myself to help them, to make ourselves better

i d0nt want 2 l0se my ‘good’ friends

i d0nt want them to l0se themselves

i realLy love them, i realLy d0

..:: w0rD 2 myseLf-eT’s neXt taRget ::..

aLhamdulilLah, i made it!!

=]

i’ve g0tten the offer fr0m Pennsylvania University (quite hard to pr0nounce..hehe) and still waiting the reply fr0m the other tw0 universities, SUNY buffalo and Indiana University Park Bloomington. wisH me luck!!

the 0nLy thing that i’ve to d0 n0w is t0 get p0inter of 3.0o and ab0ve

is that harD?  yeah it is. because i’ve d0ne very bad last seM..

i waNt to fLy, i neeD to fLy, i have t0 fLy

so i’ve to perf0rm very welL this sem

alHamdulilLah, i’m s0rrunded by realLy hardw0rking-braniac-kind of friends.. they give me inspirati0n to sTudy harD

i g0t the place t0 study, i’ve been admitted, y d0n’t i w0rk on passing MARA requirements right?

there is oNly one sTeP to g0 to United States

i’ve passed the other 2 requirements, oNly left this cGPa thingy..

i kn0w i can, i just t0 put m0re eff0rt to gain success..=]

InsyaAllah, with Allah’s help, i’ll make it..

after all, i kn0w i’m destined to US f0r purp0ses..s0 i’ve t0 w0rk harD on it

bentanGkan sejaDah seLuas-luas perjaLaNan

banyakkaN zikiR sebanYak2 perBuaTan 

hehe..s0rry t0 make u reaD all tHis

tHis is the way f0r me to m0tivate myseLf..hehe

=]

after al..aLhamdulillaH..

..:: luaHan raSa hati.. ::..

sebeNarnya,
saya makan haTi nGan hamBa2 Allah
dalam frenster ni..kesiaN hati sy ni..
terGuris,
terLuka,
terbakaR,
terkeciL,
tertekaN..
pnah makan ati..
pNah hancur berkecai gak..

tapi sy kuMpuL baLik
ceBisan2 tu..
uBat sendiri..
baLut senDiri..
pujuk senDiri..
n semBunyikan kesakiTan tu..

sebaB sy nk bLaja..
sy nk tuntut iLmu pasal isLam..
xkan seBab haMba2 ALLAH ni,
sy nk menGalah kan?

sy taBahkan hati,
sy truskan bertanya,

biaRpuN seLalu diHina..
dituDuh..
diBenci..
diLabeLkan..
diLaranG meMberi penDapat..
diHaLau dr t0pik..
dihaLau dr gr0up..

sy taBahkan hati iNi..

hMm..
tapi ituLah rasa haTi,
kaDanG2..
diRi ni rasa hiNa sanGat disisi maNusia
macaM kita seMua diasinGkan..

kaDang2 kita raSa..
kiTa ada taraf teRsenDiri..
xb0leH diteGur
xb0leH disentuH
hanya tau meNuduH,
meNudinG jaRi..
susaH untuk kita..
mencaRi saLah senDiri..kan??

seDanGkan..
yanG meMbezakan kita disisi Allah..
hanyaLah taQwa..
aMal seMata2..

Allah xkan panDanG
keDudukan, haRta dan rupa..

tapi..fiTraH maNusia seRinG
bersanDarkan paDa naFsu..
susaH kan nk kaLahkan naFsu??
seBab ituLah..
peranG meLawan naFsu merupakan jiHad besaR..

inGatkan nk luaHkan perasaan je..
last2 berkarya laks
heHe..

k..
aTas dasar itulah,
sy masiH ada di saNa..
tempat yanG banyak meLukakan hati sy..

sy seDih..
keNapa hamBa2 Allah yg sy h0rmati ni..
dan juGa kita semUa.
serinG lupa,
tentanG perasaaN rakaN2 yanG diteGur..
seRinG lupa,
yanG kita perLu bersaBar dlm berdakwaH..
perLu berBudi baHasa..
bersanGka baik..
guNakan kata2 yanG baik dan sopan ketika
meneGur..
dan..tiDak menjatuHkan hukuMan terLaLu
cepat~

kaLau macam tu..
mcm maNa org nak terpikaT nGn tarBiah isLam?

kita cukup yakiN ke denGan keduDukan
kita di sisi Allah?

et taip ni duLu gak..yup~ i really meant it..

tp..hehe..(berbakat gak et dlm b’karya eyh~! =p )

..:: haRapaN ::..

et diLahirkan kerana sebuaH harapan..

et membesar ngan harapan2 org..
et b’juanG kerana harapan2 org..
c0z, harapan org tu bg et kekuatan,
bukan tekaNan..

harapan pe?
jd pelajar yg pandai
anak yg taat kpd ibu bapa
saHabat yg baik
muslimah s0lehaH
mujaHidah sejati..

alangkaH sr0noknya apabila org b’harap pada kita kan?
aLangkaH manisnya kalo harapan org tu kita dapat
tunaikan..
alhamdulilLah, so far so go0d..
tp, alanGkaH takutnya,
mengecewakan harapan org lain..

sekaranG..
semuanya t’seraH paDa Allah..
et hanya mampu b’tawakkaL..

ya Allah..
tol0ngLa,
janGan kecewakan org2 yg b’harap kpd kejayaanku..

et nk meng’quote’ baLik mende2 yg et da tulis dulu..

terinGat balik kat kisaH2 lama..tHe olD eT

=]

betapa seLaLu et lupa pasaL harapan ni..

when i g0t the offer to go to United States

i did not actualLy kn0w what to do..

i was afraid, if i c0uld not acc0mplish my parents’ h0pes..c0z i was realLy baD in enGlish

but then, i accepted the offer..(if i just let it go, when will i get the same chance..riGht?)

k..

but it was not easy f0r me..c0z my englisH was baD

i l0st my c0nfidence (alth0ugh i d0n’t realLy have) and even thinking about appLying to UPU again~!!

i t0ld ummul ab0ut this..and she said

awak..janGan la menGalah..kaLo awk xdapat fLy,

cuba bayanGkan berapa banyak hati yg akan terluka..

sy da la xdpt fly..kaLo awak xdpt fly, sy laGilah sedeyh

janGan sia2kan peLuang ni eh

her w0rds made me think a l0t

‘aah kan..i was s0 selfish..i just think b0ut myself..i sh0uld have c0nsider other people’s expectati0n t0wards me..’

then, masa et nk update bl0g ni..et t’baca baLik mende et tulis, lpas sPm dulu..

it gives me c0uraGe

i kn0w i can~!

i canNot give up without givinG it a tRy~!

sRikanDi isLam xkan menyeraH~

=]